#But trojan are good enough ig

[wydalenylod]

WHY DOES ENGLISH SPEAKING INTERNET NOT HAVE A POPULAR MEME ABOUT EATING BABIES. WHY CAN'T I JOKE HOW ODYSSEUS SHOULD'VE TAKE THE INFANT WITH HIM AND USE IT AS EMERGENCY FOOD WITHOUT PEOPLE GIVING ME WEIRD LOOKS

[talxe]

Reading the Iliad, Book 9 thoughts

This is my first time ever reading it and I know next to nothing abt greek mythology so if I interpret anything wrong by all means pls correct me

Im reading the Robert Fagles translation

Here's the thing with Achilles. It is not enough for him to know he's the best, everyone else has to know it too, BUT even that's not enough. They cannot ever forget it AND they have to worship him for it. AND that's his fucking problem Achilles is SICK okay????😭

Like wtf

LITERALLY, no one is still upset abt what happened between Achilles and Agamemnon except Achilles.

Anyway Agamemnon summons all the important ppl on the Greek side, (Nestor, Odysseus, ppl like that)

Once they all get there Agamemnon starts bawling his little Greek eyes out bc shit is looking bleak

So Agamemnon says "fuck it, let's go home NOW."

Diomedes is like "Look man you've been kinda pissy at me buuuut ur a good leader or whatever so I think there's still a chance for the odds to be in our favor, but go home ig bc me and my men are staying until Troy falls."

Diomedes how does it feel to be Homer's fav??

Nestor decides they just need to make it through the night bc the Trojans are so close to their camp that they're neighbors atp

Nestor sits Agamemnon down and goes "What you did to Achilles was actually not cool and we really need him rn so you need to make things right."

AND AGAMEMNON actually agrees????? I still don't like him but this was super mature of him. It seems like despite his temper even he knows when he's in the wrong, unlike some other people.

Agamemnon lists off A BUNCH of shit that he's going to give Achilles. I started smiling bc the list just kept going.

He offers his own daughter for marriage, 7 women from lesbos, 20 Trojan women, and all the treasure his ships could carry. (there's more but this is the more important.)

Plus Berseis

Agamemnon says he'll swear an oath that he never slept with Berseis too.

Achilles gets all of this if he stops being angry and fights

So Ody, Ajax(Greater), Phoenix, and two heralds go to speak with Achilles

Achilles and Patroclus are just chilling as Achilles plays his stupid ass lyre

Patroclus mentioned♥️♥️♥️

When they see the group approaching, Achilles stands up and says "Omg I really missed up guys lol."

Like bro....

PEOPLE ARE DYING???

Achilles and Patroclus play host for the group and they all eat.

Achille is really happy to see his friends

So Odysseus starts trying to convince Achilles to re-join the fight

Achilles starts ranting abt how he's done everything but Agamemnon keeps the lions share of what they bring back

Then he goes on to talk abt how he loves Berseis only for her to be snatched away

Basically, he says no and then Achilles says "I will leave at first light."

KNOWING DAMN WELL HE'S NOT GONNA LEAVE. STOP LYING

Achilles is so weird to me. You're not going to accept the gifts, you're not going to leave, but you're going to fight either??? WHAT DO YOU WANT THEN???? He's sulking like a child

Then Achilles says "I don't want his shitty gifts and even if his daughters rivaled Aphrodite in looks I still wouldn't want them, and he can keep Berseis."

...........hello???

Phoenix starts trauma dumping but he tells Achilles that he's being disrespectful.

I think Phoenix tells the story (you know the one) of Meleager and Cleopatra. and Achilles is like "okay be quiet."

The group goes to leave, and Ody says that it's silly Achilles is doing this all over one woman.

But at this point it's not abt Berseis anymore and I don't think it ever was.

Achilles tells them that he won't fight until Hector gets so close that he's up their asses

I love finding out why Achilles is an asshole

[kevinsdsy]

I need to know what everyone thinks of the olympics choccy muffins

If their allowed to go off their diets to eat them at all...

the second the muffins would go viral the trojans would SO eat them— most of them have enough sense to tey and hide it from their coaches/nutritionists??

i made a post about how henrik christiansen aka the muffin man gives major shawn vibe (so im going to answer this inbox in relation to the socmed au ig i hope that’s okay 😭) and he would shamelessly keep eating them and tell everyone about them and it would piss jean off SO BAD because it’s not even a matter of having a good diet at this point— jean tells him to have some self respect.

i think the rest of the team would just be curious to what the hype is about and they all try it and review/discuss is amongst each other (the same ways all the other olympians have been doing SHDKDHDJ) but they won’t go as far as eating them religiously, the way shawn seems to be doing.

i’m also trying to think of the foxes in this situation— and maybe its my own obsession with the muffin man and the crazy fomo i have about trying one out LMAO but i also think the foxes would all try it. i’m not so sure about neil and kevin though (now that i think about it i’ve never really thought about neil’s eating habits omg), but i think kevin is determined to not try it out and he isn’t interested in it at all— he is lecturing everyone about the importance of a good nutrition plan and staying healthy but no one bothers listening to him and at some point literally every olympian seems to have had a taste so he caves in and decides to try one (1) bite from the muffin.

[ithinkofnealcassady]

what makes you think stewy has a significantly deeper capacity for love than the roys? in the context of them all being part of the same parasitic landscape it kinda feels like comparing a guy who's 85% soulless to the guys who are 96% soulless which ig is still a difference but not rly a meaningful one

no yeah that’s a valid perspective! i think that (a small part of) stewy is in denial over how much he cares, which makes him “fit” w the roys and the professionals that surround him more seamlessly (always a performer); he knows how to act to get what he wants (something the roys do not know how to do all the time). he shows his love with varying degrees of “social normalcy” (physical touch vs for example the trojan horse) just as the roys do (any of the times they kiss each other upon meeting up vs hug of death to put roman down in the finale). a lot of this comes down to performance vs honesty. the siblings’ love for each other, for all their other neuroses, tends to be honest. we don’t know enough about stewy to absolutely say the same.

we could dissect every second of screen time to determine the ways kendall roman and shiv are able versus unable to “perform” or “exhibit” love per social standards and structures and we still wouldn’t have clear answers—**and it really doesn’t fucking matter how they show the love because the love is undeniably there!!!!** the tit-for-tat would be endless: stewy does show his love in socially typical ways (which is up to interpretation as well!! you could think he’s being primarily manipulative when he touches ken on screen. i just don’t think that personally); the roys MATCH HIM in that sense—a hug after daddy dies, holding hands to tell their brother the news: the tragedy of losing someone who they needed MORE THAN ANYONE ELSE to love them is the inciting action for them falling onto the next most similar form of love: their siblings. thus the development of the sibs’ relationships through s4, clinging then pushing away, kissing and biting, their father’s children all the way through. we don’t get to see stewy with anyone other than the roys, sandies, the old guard, hired staff, and briefly & from a distance josh. so there’s not much in the source material to prove he has a greater capacity for love! which is why i totally understand where you’re coming from!

i really don’t want this to seem like i think all the roys are is monstrous. if you’ve spent 2 seconds on my blog you know i don’t think that so i am assuming you’re asking this in good faith!!!!

to pivot slightly, when i write about kenstewy’s love specifically, i’m not saying stewy’s love is “better” or “worth more” or “realer” than the roys’, but i think STEWY feels like it means that—specifically he thinks he loves kendall better than anyone else does. since i write so much from stewy’s perspective i bet it seems like i’m saying that all the time lol, and when i write from kendall’s perspective i write him in a way where he’s obsessed w how much he loves stewy & stewy loves him, because to his father/family it WAS quantifiable. ratable. whatever

**for the sake of this discussion, i will say again that i don’t think for a moment such a thing as love/an amount of love can be literally numerically quantified!! & to be super clear i also strongly believe it has NO relation to one’s morality.** so i’m not saying stewy is a better person. everything i’ve said on this topic is meant to support the thesis that the enormous amount of love the roys invest in their father impacts the way they are able to show love to all other characters. i think stewy loves the shit out of his family; i also think kendall is the most important person in his life. i think kendall loves the shit out of stewy; i also think his family are the most important people in his life.

i don’t have super concrete views on the topic, as i think this answer demonstrates!

tl;dr the real reason i feel this way is because of the soul arian instills into the performance. it’s less what’s on paper and more what he brought in his dark lambent eyes

[musingsbydeepo]

The Trojan War from Above

genre: i have no idea LMAO, oneshot ig?

description: Percy, Thalia and Nico ascend to Olympus to seek help from the gods for Percy's Trojan War project.

notes: hera reconciled with the demigods after TOA so they're cool now, most of the gods are pretty much casual with the saviors of olympus, post-TOA

warnings: none i can see, but lmk if you catch something via asks or dms!

word count: 1,157

"Professor Paulin assigned us a project, and we need your help."

Percy's voice boomed all across the throne room, while the Olympians -- except for Zeus, which was momentarily replaced by the Zeus Rock™ that was sitting on the King of Heaven's throne in the center of the room.

"Um, ok?"

"Son, what kind of help do you mean-"

"Anything to help Sally Jackson the Great's son!"

"It feels rather gratifying that you approach us - and I mean me, of course - rather than my daughter-"

"Well, unless you've come to do a project on agriculture, I'm afraid I can't-"

"Hard pass, Peter Johnson."

"Ugh, is it that puny punk who saved us from being dethroned again? I swear he's here every week for dinner-"

"Oh my, it's the male lead of the most romantic story of all time!"

"You're exaggerating again, Ditey."

"Am not!"

"Well, this should be interesting."

"Oh, it's that kid who set off my alarms in that god-awful amusement park - get it, god-awful? 'Cause we're gods?"

"Hello, hero."

"Hi, Aunt Hera." Percy glanced back at his friends for support. Thalia gave him a thumbs up while Nico simply shrugged. Somehow that simple movement expressed sorry man you're on your own. "Um, so we -- I mean I -- have to retell the Trojan War in my words. Except I don't really have enough concrete evidence to completely retell the story, so I was hoping you could...um...supply the missing and perhaps the blurrier parts?"

"You'd think I blessed Homer enough to accurately narrate that war, but noooo he just had to skip the start. Ugh." Apollo complained, holding the back of his hand to his forehead, then sat up abruptly. "Actually, you'd think the Greeks were living in peace, but noooo you vain goddesses just had to fight over your looks. Double ugh."

"As if you're not vain, Apollo!" Aphrodite protested, her fist clenched on the armrest of her throne.

"Yeah, but that was before I became Lester. And please, if we're not in a formal situation do call me Lester. Now can we make this quick, I have to visit Aeithales later."

"Can we please return to the situation at hand? My son is in dire need of our help!" Poseidon redirected the counsel's attention to Percy, who felt increasingly small as 11 pairs of eyes turned to him once more, 12 if you include the sunglasses his dad had put on the Zeus Rock™.

"Okay, so, uh I've got notebooks here and stuff, if you could just write down what you know-"

"Um, Percy? One teensy little problem?" Thalia tapped her friend and cousin's shoulder lightly. When Percy turned to her, she said, "New Rome U needs you to cite a source. I know NRU is pretty lax about the gods and whatever, but Prof Paul is mortal. He's not just sweep this under the carpet if your paper says 'source: Olympian Gods'."

Everyone's shoulders slumped as they took this in consideration. Even the Zeus Rock™ seemed to slip slightly lower on its throne.

"I have a solution to that." Athena announced, and everyone let out a sigh of relief. From thin air, she summoned a leather-bound book. The cover was branded and gold-leafed with The Trojan War from Above by Athena Chase, PhD, EdD, EngD, DProf, DArch, ThD, DDiv, ScD, LitD. "If everyone here could just lend me their memories about that war -- and no, Apollo, I'm not asking you to give up your memories, I'm asking you to share, which you should be familiar with now." She shot down her brother, who was starting to raise his hand.

For a few beats the entire throne room was silent, which was probably the quietest it had been since the completion of the dodecatheon. Even Bessie the Ophiotaurus kept to himself, though he usually mooed, hence the very rare silence of the Olympian throne room.

"Alright, here it is. Godly knowledge about the Trojan War condensed in a portable book. Pretty hefty, huh?"

"Um, Theney, wouldn't it be...unwise to share such knowledge with mortals? We're revealing secrets here. Doesn't that go against everything you stand for?" Ares huffed. "Besides, I should be the one offering this to you, punk. I'm the god of war, after all."

"I'm a god of war too! And besides, as long as none of you included your personal comments, it should be fine. You didn't include any right? Right?"

Silence. Again.

The three demigod were having a silent conversation using sign language -- a habit they picked up from Hearthstone, one of Annabeth's cousin Magnus's friends. The were huddled closely to each other, so that the gods couldn't see their hands.

Am I seeing right? Is that Chase on the cover? Nico signed, his eyes bewildered.

I think so. I see it too. Thalia replied.

Should we let Annabeth know? Percy asked, his teeth clenched. I mean, she's always wanted this. A complete family. She... Percy faltered. I saw it when we passed by the sirens, years ago. This could either make or break her day, maybe even her life.

Annabeth's not that dumb, Percy. Thalia scoffed as she signed.

Yeah but- Percy's sign was cut short by Athena's voice.

"Normally I would request to redo this, but it's getting late and we all have plans. Here you go, Perseus. I ask you to be careful, this book can very well start another war if it's in the wrong hands." The book flew towards the demigods' general direction, and Percy leaped to catch it.

"Uh, thank you, my lady. I'll uh, make you guys proud and get a good score on this project! Please send my regards to Grammy." Percy bowed along with Thalia and Nico. They were about to leave when Apollo shrank down to human size, simultaneously transforming his toga to jeans and a t-shirt, and patted Percy on the back.

"I'll go with you guys, I'm going to Meg's." He pulled a pair of glasses from his pocket and handed them to Percy. The frames were gold and engraved with literary and solar symbols. "This should help with reading your book. If you're ever in need of help to express yourself in this project, hit me up. God of literature at your service! Just don't call when I'm with Meg, alright?"

Percy hadn't even considered his dyslexia. He accepted the glasses with a thankful smile and said, "Uh, thanks LA." I probably won't need -- or want -- your help anyway, he added inwardly.

"No prob."

"Oh, what's this?" Annabeth picked up a book from Percy's shelf. She had never seen this book before, and it seemed expensive, what with the leather cover and gold embossing.

The Trojan War from Above by Athena Chase, PhD, EdD, EngD, DProf, DArch, ThD, DDiv, ScD, LitD

Annabeth only knew one person -- well, not exactly a person -- with those doctorates.

"Mom," she whispered.

sources: Zeus Rock™ HC, Percy calling Rhea Grammy HC and Trojan War project HC from @caffeinatedflumadiddlebutpjo; i saw an HC where Percy asks how to cite The Olympians as a veritable source but i'm not sure if it's from caffeinatedflumadiddlebutpjo as well but if you know where it's from please let me know i beg you; pretty yellow dividers from @skylightlantern